Monáe's Musings | Fabulous and Fortunate Podcast

Last weekend I stayed with my grandmother and she took us to visit her aunt, which makes her my great-great aunt. She is the oldest living relative on my maternal side. We talked and laughed with her, while the Steve Wilkos show played in the background.

One of the first things she mentioned when she first saw me was my nose piercing. With a smile so sly and knowing I would have thought she knew me from another lifetime. Her commentary of my nose ring catalyzed me labeling her to be a conservative older woman who I probably wouldn’t relate to on any level.

We all delved into conversation. As I became more comfortable, I went on to tell them that I enjoy drinking matcha lattes every morning, rather than coffee. And when asked why, I explained that matcha contains L-theanine, an amino acid that eases anxiety, increases focus, improves the immune system, and regulates blood pressure. I also expressed how it is a daily form of self-care for me to intentionally make the lattes. Benefits that will make the ears of any southern woman perk up. I then talked about the benefits of eating more plants and conscious nutrition, and it felt really good to know that everything I said was being absorbed and mulled over. Here I am effecting change, no matter how small, into three women with more years under their belt in comparison to me. But it felt liberating, to choose to spread knowledge for knowledge sake.

My aunt didn’t talk too much throughout the evening, adding a comment and asking questions here and there, but her eyes held curiosity and amusement as the conversation shifted from a range of topics.

As the evening wined down and we said our goodbyes, she said, “You should come visit me sometimes.”

Smiling, I declared, “I should. Or rather I will. I will come visit you again.”

After she mentioned I should come see her again, she said she also really liked my outfit. I was wearing extremely eccentric Thai fisherman pants that were fall themed with cascading green and yellow leaves, tan-ish brown in hue, and adorned with big orange flowers. I had on huge cream weaved basket earrings. And I had on a sage green tank top. It was giving Erykah Badu.

And as I thanked her I thought, “Maybe you and I aren’t so different, if you liked these pants. Maybe we would’ve been really cool friends if we were 22 at the same time and happened to meet. Maybe, maybe….”

While I was sitting in the passenger seat of my grandmother’s car as she drove down the road that leads us home, I couldn’t help but to reflect on my great-great aunt who I had just met for the first time. And how in her eyes I saw her at 22 years old, as crazy as that may sound. Her body had gotten older after years being a living being on earth, but her eyes had a youthful fashion to them that seemed to recognize something in me. When I looked at her I could see beyond how old she was now and really look and see that she was once young just like me. With the entire world in front of her and all of these dreams and ambitions just bubbling inside waiting to escape. And those eyes. Those youthful eyes that had so much knowing brewing in them.

I imagine that one day I’ll be talking to a 22 year old, long after my own time being 22. And it’ll be someone else’s turn to educate me on topics of relevance that I have no clue about as the times change.

And I imagine I’ll have a flashback to that moment, that moment of knowing and seeing beyond what’s in front of me.

A reminder that time moves forward, and it’s up to me to allow my dreams to move forward as well.

No one wants to be forgotten as the person they truly are, removed from their age. She was once and still has inside of her that same 22 year old. Allowing her to see the beauty in what I was wearing. It was a divine interaction and prompted me to reflect on the beauty and fragility of life. And to also associate aging with beauty and divinity. With its cycles, intermissions, learning, unlearning, and experiences. Even though we get older, we still hold inside of us each stage of life we visited. Is a 22 and 86 year old relating not proof of this? So many elements seem to collide and intermingle in the grand scheme of things. That day I unlearned my previous fears of aging and she learned about L-theanine – a win, win.

Age doesn’t matter when it comes to learning. An open heart that is ready to receive regardless of the educator’s age is a heart that has eternal youth. As I age I hope my heart remains young and willing.

Just as I’m writing this, my grandmother comes and asks me to help her cast a show from her phone onto her AppleTV. And I was so happy to help her. I was honored. And once I successfully taught her about casting she exclaimed, “Y’all [those in my age group] keep us young and educated!” And I just smiled. That is the cycle of life, is it not?