Monáe's Musings | Fabulous and Fortunate Podcast

As I write this declaration to you I can’t help but to feel conflicting feelings

But I am inclined to amidst reflections of our previous dealings

Showing your face in moments of intensity and fear

Frequently seen anticipating the perfect moment for your will to appear

You’ve reared your head in my relationships

Constantly seeing a reason to defend my self ownership

Allowing anxiousness to precede my ambitions

Putting your needs before my own volition

Making me see criticisms as an attack

But on this day I say no more of that!

I would be being dishonest if I said I will not miss you

At times you have given me the courage to take a stand and press issues

Yet the aftermath always left a bitter taste in my mouth

Feeling it in my body as the effect travels from the north to the south

Proving to be an example of all the work I have yet to do

Things I have to heal from before my life is due

You haven’t allowed me to take my shortcomings with grace

Making me feel inferior for life’s mistakes

I no longer yearn to be deemed right

Or for the world to give me a green light

I yearn to be heard

To have my growth take flight and perch upon the wings of birds

To have my dreams and aspirations reach the mountains of my potential

And to add being led by the divine to my growing list of credentials

You have made a mockery of me at times of confrontation and leisure

Showing up with your grand prowess and sharp shifting features

No longer will I allow you to have me toss and turn

Pulling words out of my mouth with the intent to burn

I must say, we have been best friends for a while now

But you taking up more space than my soul is not something I can further allow

I have always used you for my protection

But as I rise to the occasion I see that I can no longer allow your progression

As we grow apart know that it is not all bad

There are many lessons that had to be had

Blows that had to be dealt to my psyche

But these problems and tribulations can only be solved by the divine in me

With strong confidence I can proclaim that I am no longer afraid of my shadow

But I’ll admit I feel slightly reminiscent as I see your strong grip start to let go

As baskets of freedom attach themselves to my dome

I begin to rework where my spirit rests at home

Oh, you try to hold strong to your post

As I unlearn things that made me a functioning member of society and my will a ghost

What I know is that you are a stubborn one

Feeling shocked and betrayed as I tell you that a new era has begun

You have told me that you will still cling to me in the pockets of my mind

Tucking yourself in a place that I will always be able to find

Working with my life contract to give me tests to see how steadfast I hold

With a smirk on your face in a fashion that is bold

Alas, this is my declaration to you that it is okay to let me be vulnerable

It is okay to see me go through life learning lessons and turning them into fables

You have done your best at protecting me

Which is why I know you think it will be hard to just let me be

But I would appreciate if you let me do things on my own

By standing back, and watching me plant all the seeds that need to be sown

When I contemplate my life’s vision

It’s easy to make this declaration and ultimate decision

Fear will not chain us any longer

For I cannot bare to live a life of being led asunder

For now, as I bid adieu

I would like to finally say thank you

I’m sure it hasn’t been easy busting through clouds on my behalf

But now let me run the race on my own and find a multitude of reasons to practice gratitude and laugh

I can never forget you but I have to heal

Because my life is not a card to which I will allow you to deal